Miriam has come a long way. She's 33 and has established herself as an accountant for a major publishing company in New York.
She has four children- out of wedlock, and from different fathers. Nothing wrong with that! This woman is ALL WOMAN!
She laid down, had her fun, and TOOK CARE OF RESPONSIBILITY (including kicking out the "dead beat" fathers), all of her children are in private schools (and striving!), and takes care of her 88 year old grandmother who has dementia-damn!
Miriam was born on June 13th,1981. In NUMEROLOGY #4 correlates to the sign of CAPRICORN, but ASTROLOGICALLY associated with CANCER. It is the # of POWER . FINANCIAL SELF-MASTERY. It rules INDUSTRY, BUSINESS but the vice of CORRUPTION.
The number 13th is also related to SCORPIO (and is notoriously popular as a very 'bad luck' producing, vibration: personally, I've found the number to always bring me luck. My building number where I live adds up to 13, and yes, I've had a ew "close calls" in that apartment, but due to my own carelessness-no doubt).
Before Miriam turned her life around, she was FUNCTIONING AT THE 13TH VIBRATION of her birth date. Engaged in the UNDERWORLD completely...
"Tell me about that life" I asked, intrigued.
"I had fun. drugged, fucked, the whole bid!"
"okay..." I breathed, "what else?"
"Shit. You want more than that?"
"I guess I want to know how it started. what set you off?"
"Does it all the time. Did you fall hard?"
"What you think?" She shrieked
"That's a yes"
"Hell yeah that's a yes!" She mimicked
"Who turned you out?"
"What you mean-'what'?" I in turn, mimicked, "someone had to introduce you to the crack," I reasoned.
"Yeah, you keep thinking that..."
"What?! No way-get out-a-town!"
She shrugged, "you get outa town-with that!"
"How old was he?"
"15. He shot up thou, I smoked mined"
"Didn't you try to stop him?"
"what, Fernando come on, man. I wanted to get high that was my step brother-we didn't have love like that"
"Like how. He's still your brother-I'm sure it would have affected you in some kind of way if he had, God forbid, overdosed in this fashion"
"'in this fashion''', she mocked, "you need to learn a lot, bro-you want a hit?"
"Just kidding-boy you should do comedy cause you funny, man"
"So I've been told..."
Miriam has an AQUARIAN ASCENDANT, and a GEMINI MOON. This makes sense. She has a DOUBLE AIR CHART. People with a lot of "air" pronounced in their birth charts ALWAYS shows the ability to BOUNCE BACK from any POSITION in LIFE.
The Aquarian Ascendant allowed her to be EMOTIONALLY ALOOF enough to engage or even SIMULATE feelings and go through life completely "detached" from outcomes, circumstances, or even show or display of REMORSE. These people have the capacity to move forward in life without LOOKING BACK.
Although she is successful, she states she "feels hollow" inside and doesn't know how to 'behave' intimately with a man.
"What do you mean you feel hollow inside?"
"Shit, how else can I break it down for you?" becoming frustrated
"I'll put it another way, how did these men make you feel when you were with them?"
"Awkward. And when they would kiss me it would feel like I'm kissing my brother or something"
"That's the only one I mentioned-so yeah," she cried, bucking her eyes
"Where is this aggression coming from, Miriam?"
"You seem angry. is it that you don't get what you want from them?"
"That's what I'm here for you to tell me!"
"Your MARS, the planet of sexuality is in the industrious and ambitious sign of Capricorn"
"Meaning that the men in your life-particularly your sex life, must be older, or very mature acting, preferably financially stable, confident and methodical lovers, demonstrative, too"
"Damn, all that?"
"Yupe, all that-and more!" I exclaimed
"Oh?" Her left eyebrow peaked, "what else you see in there?" leaning forward from her seat to take a closer look at my computer
"Your VENUS, the planet which deals with the lighter side of life, the good things in life, is in EMOTIONALLY DETACHED sign of AQUARIUS"
"Oh boy, that don't sound good, doesn't?"
"Doesn't make you the warmest person on the planet-but everything in life is a work in progress"
"Yeah-that's easy for you to say you don't have fuckin' venus in emotionally detached sign of Aquarius' as you say..." again, bucking her yes
"...you need a hit?"
"Excuse me? Why, you got?"
It's okay, we go way back, Miriam and I and we always talk this way. It's obvious that Miriam had developed 'blockages to intimacy which is quite common when in recovery. Certain emotional responses will have to be re-learned-for herself, before she can begin to relate to her lovers on deeper levels.